October 16, 1985

When my brother Tracy died, my universe shifted. Up was no longer up, and down became a place I never imagined I could go: mentally, emotionally, and physically. I don't believe I had ever felt so low.

Finding my breath again

When someone you love dies by suicide, everyone who knows, cares for, and loves them stops breathing. For twelve years, that was my life. Then, in 1997, I took my first breath of life when I thought of my brother without sadness.

Opening up the stereo

Now I'm opening up the stereo, pulling out the sounds, memories, and moments of that era to tell the story of an event that changed not just a family, not just a neighborhood, but an entire community. ...NowWhat?! is my way of honoring Tracy's whole life, not only how it ended.

— Sherri Patterson